Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Kingdom of Lovely Rails Against Its Own People!

TMI is shocked to have to report that the Minister of Foreign Relations for the Kingdom of Lovely has classified a broad majority of people, apparently including Lovelies, as "silly".

In a scathing review of what his own people think the Minister shows his utter contempt for the majority and his elitist attitude. His cutting remark was aimed at those who support the HTML technology over his personal favorite PDF, precisely because it is his favorite.

Of course, TMI could not leave well enough alone and tracked down the Lovely Minister to pester him with follow up questions with the intent of publishing compromising materials out of context, but it turned out subterfuge was not needed. When asked what he meant by "silly" he replied:
It's all in good fun.
Good fun indeed sir, at the expense of your population. This seemingly benign phrase points out just how deep the disdain for his fellow man goes. He is intent to have fun out our expense, and we could not agree with him more! TMI is in complete support of laughing at those of lessor fortune and skill. The world is a cruel place. Those of us on the top should look down our noses at those below us, that's why we have noses.

Still, TMI takes umbrage at the Minister attempting to horn in on the action TMI reserves for itself. We simply cannot allow just anyone a soap box to spew forth their opinions and theories. Those functions are reserved to us, the free press. All government officials are hereby given notice that failure to comply with the TMI demand that only TMI associated publications are allowed to call people names, even in jest, will find themselves on the receiving end of our scorn or applause, as we see fit.

What has to be the worst part of it, particularly for the Lovelies, is that the Minister is a seasons political operative and he had to know he was crossing lines you just don't cross, and yet he did it anyway.

Silly Minister.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Community Speaks Against PDFs

The MN Independent commissioned a poll of the interested people to determine if they prefer PDF or HTML (blog) format, and the results are in, PDFs are out.

The competition between the formats has been raging for years, and yet PDF seems to have carved out a durable niche. The simple truth seems to be that PDF fills a need that HTML does not. HTML is not a good media for documents that need to maintain their formatting no matter what viewing device is used. HTML, however, is far more flexible and allows the viewer, called a browser, to render a "best fit" version.

PDFs are also very useful for exporting information from programs that save data in a proprietary format that may not be present on the target machine.

All that having been said, the simple truth of user experience when related to MN commentary delivery is overwhelming. When asked about the competing technologies HM King Guy I had this to say:
PDFs suck ass. Only a moron would use them for an MN news service.
Of course, TMI does not agree. TMI thinks this statement is a bit too strong. We believe that people of exceptionally bad judgement, and with a total lack of user interface understanding would use PDF, not just morons.

In the end, the community has spoken and so TMI will continue to publish in the HTML (blog) format until such time as we feel like doing something different. (Those smoke signals are still looking interesting.)

Monday, January 29, 2007

MNN hosts racist propaganda!

TMI has discovered a gut wrenching post that has been allowed to sit like a festering sore oozing puss for years, and all without uproar!

http://mnn.mncentre.net/forum/index.php/topic,57.0.html

How this sort of trash can be allowed to sit uncensored on the most important news source in the sector simply escapes the rational mind. The authorities should, at long last, take action against this sort of hate-filled speech!

When asked to comment on this grievous situation Liam Sinclare only had this to say:
OMG! That is so far in the past. Why bring up stupid things like that? People like you make me sick.
This is exactly the same point the hate filled self-loathing racist author supports! Allowing that sort of opinion to be displayed is the same as endorsing it. And endorsing it means that others might agree with it. Before you know it you could have en entire community of the "Let bygones be bygones" crowed and racial tensions might subside. This cannot be tolerated! Diversity and tolerance demand that everyone be ultra sensitive to issue of race! Race is everything. Forget the content of your character. Your character cannot be judged when race is the central theme, and everyone knows it is. ESPECIALLY on the internet where the race of an author must be explicitly stated to even be known!

TMI deplores the MNN community to boycott Walmart until something is done about this situation.

Friday, January 26, 2007

MN Independent Named Gold Standard!

Nathan of Natopia names MN Independent the standard for all MN tabloids. When asks specifically about his literary habits he had this to say:
Of course I read other publications. The new MicroPrivate Eye is very good. But, the MN Independent has its own appeal. It is like watching a train wreck. You can't tear yourself away from it even as you desperately wish you could. Someday everyone will be reduced to a drooling moron waiting for the next installment of the TMI, but until then they have various ways to induce drooling.
TMI is very pleased to be the standard by which all other MN publications are judged. Of course, TMI is not surprised. With our crack staff on the job no story, real or imagined, goes unreported.

Still, there might be room for improvement. And therefore TMI has commissioned the blog-vs-pdf poll to see if TMI should consider a change in media.

In fact, we have thrown open the doors to all media being considered: email, letters, telegram, telephone, personal messenger and even smoke signals are all under review. You can use this community input request time to voice your preferences.

We want to reassure all our readers (both of them) that TMI will continue to publish the highest level of journalist investigations found in the entire sector no matter what media we use.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Paper Plate Awards

TMI, having been graciously invited by the event organizers, was represented by their best journalistic team. TMI arrived early to be sure to cover the entire events.

TMI arrived at the Norton Lounge Conference Center to find it closed, cold, and locked. But, after waiting for a short time the maintenance staff showed up. We rushed them with our camera's and microphones, but no amount of paparazzi like intimidation would get them to allow us into the quiet interior. The head janitor put it this way:

Get the hell out of my way or I'm calling the cops.


TMI, ever law abiding, complied immediately. None the less, we were able to hear the sounds of furniture being moved around, and the sound system being checked. TMI was finally greeted by Mr. Tomsett who let us into the press booth. We crammed all three of us into the booth made for a dozen, and promptly set up shop. The organizers had politely provided for a sound feed and we promptly plugged in, turned on the recorder, and high tailed it out to set up the red carpet procession.

TMI was surprised to discover that no red carpet was to be provided. When questioned about this Mr. Tomsett only retorted with:

This isn't the FNORD ya know


He then walked off to make sure that plenty of popcorn and beer were at the concession stand. We purchased a box of snow caps, costing $45.23 in USD, and then went back to the booth to check the recorder. Sure enough, some unsuspecting fools were talking in range of the microphone, but none of it was news worthy.

Finally the attendees began to arrive. The hired part time staff was greeting people at the door and taking their tickets. Some of the attendees balked at having to pass through a metal detector to enter, but with the war on terror one can never be to safe. Some of the more attractive women were profiled for full body cavity searches, but TMI cameras were not allowed to record the event. We did notice that none of them emerged from the room with a smile, while all the male security staff seemed very pleased with itself.

None the less the arrivals was a pageant of pomp and circumstance.

King Jeremy's casket was brought in, and propped open so his decomposing 6'5" corpse could be properly honored.

Mr. Sinclare entered the room also, but was so boring no one noticed. The online betting services have him heavily favored to win in this category, but even if he does no one will notice.

Angelia Jolie was radiant, of course, but that Brad Pitt tumor on her ass ruined the whole display. No amount of expensive clothing, makeup or jewelry could cover such a festering display of poor taste in moral character.

Bono arrived, and promptly started asking all the national leaders to forgive African debt. The King of Stormark proposed that Bono hold a series of African debt pay-off concerts. Bono persisted, and was finally escorted to his seat by security.

Ben Gray stepped in showing his perfectly pressed uniform, showing why he was the front runner to win the tidy desk award.

Finally the lights dimmed, the last few laggards took their seats as Mr. Thompson, the Master of Ceremonies, came onto the stage to thunderous applause. After what seemed an eternity the applause settled down and he approached the lecturn:

Good friends, on behalf of the Paper Plate Awards Organization, I welcome you to the this ceremony where we shall recognize and reward those micronationalists that have added to the misery of our calling. Each of the special categories has been picked with the intent to mock and humiliate someone, and so with that in mind we proceed straight to the nights first award. Here to present the award for Most Tidy Desk is Dr. Sprangle.


The night went on like this in a standard awards ceremony style resulting in a stack of paper plates being handed out to cheers and jeers alike.

As people filed out there were smiles all around as everyone seemed to have a good time, except Bono, and that's as it should be.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Corumburg, Chernobyl and Micronations

TMI wondered, what is the future of a micronation. To answer this question TMI decided to use a representative nation as a case study. For this case study TMI picked Corumburg. To the TMI staff Corumburg represents a nation that was at least moderately successful for a time, and then passed into history.

First comes the difficult part of defining when a nation is dead in some brain-damaged attempt to justify the Corumburg decision. For TMI we simply defined it as dead when it no longer interests us. You can have your own definition of course, but it is worthless against ours as our suits our purposes and does not portend to be a universal definition. That, and TMI just likes the way the Corumburg flag matches the mystery reporters eyes.

TMI sent its archaeological team deep into the heart of Corumburg to study how a micronation dies with the aim of answering the questions: How did die? Why did it die? What becomes of a dead nation? Could it have been prevented? Unlike all previous works TMI will be definitive in that no other reports should ever be considered next to this one, as this one is the final word.

Corumburg died sometime in 2004, despite a few statements from beyond the grave to the contrary in 2006. Upon examining the data what strikes TMI staff is the Pompeii like stasis Corumburg is found in. The place is much like the inhabitants left it. Some encroachment from ezBoards is evident, but it is otherwise pristine from the last day of its existence.

It is eerily reminiscent of a ghost town where the inhabitants left in an extreme hurry, such as happened near Chernobyl. Even today in that radioactive land stands an entire city where the citizens were simply collected in trucks and moved out of harms way as quickly as the government could manage. Homes are fully furnished. Stores shelves are stocked. Cars are on the streets. Everything of value that was not being warned when the evacuation order came was simply left behind, and remains, gathering dust. For a long time many lights were left on, and only when the utility finally cut power to the whole city did they go out. In some places water continued to run as it had been left on by the feeling caretakers. Most of those things have stopped by natural wear. Nature is slowly reasserting itself. Weeds have taken hold and are overgrown in most placed. Animals have moved in. The ghosts are the only human like population the city.

But Corumburg has no nature to reclaim the natural resources. The forums and web space sit in an tomb like silence forever as a frozen monument to the once bustling hub of humanity.

So TMI has the answer to one question, what becomes of a dead nation. The answer is, it turns into a monument to those who built the nation, and a warning to those who come after.

An examination of the dates of posts shows that, again like Chernobyl, the departure was sudden and massive. One moment the court was full of activity, the next only a few holdouts are left walking the echoing halls wondering what happened, and then finally they too depart.

And like the Chernobyl folks, they leave no notice of why they have departed, or even that they have. They simply stop working.

But in at least one-way Corumburg is significantly different that Chernobyl. No disaster befell Corumburg. No earthquake, fire, flood, volcano, tornado, hurricane, tsunami, meteor strike, Divine smite, war, famine, plague, drought or anything else struck Corumburg. Corumburg died from disinterest. No one cares any longer.

Thus TMI has the answer to another question, how did the nation die? It died by departure of its citizen, officially or otherwise.

Inspecting the posts it is clear that the civic authorities saw the demise on the horizon. They reference it in their discussions, even if only obliquely as if by not looking at the problem it will go away. They knew it was happening and were powerless to avoid it, or, as TMI suspects, had themselves grown apathetic and simply choose to do nothing and thus by passive collaboration killed their own nation.

TMI concludes that the death of Corumburg was entirely avoidable as it happened, but concludes that its eternal status is unknowable. And in this, TMI wonders if all micronations face a similar fate? Do micronations have the potential to last many years? Some have, but darn few. Do micronation have the potential to last generations? So far, none are known to TMI. Theoretically it is possible.

Another final observation is that, theoretically, people could return to Corumburg and resume their national activities, and so the hope of potential rests locked in the remaining artifacts of the nation waiting to be picked up once again and put to use.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Bergen Conference Sells Uncertain Future

Readers, as most of you probably know the Bergen Conference has proved to be an initial success with a good number of nations represented.

Taking center stage from the onset is the uncertain future. It seems Hanover is intent on stitching together some loose coalition. TMI feels this is just another step in their effort to rule the world. Dont' believe Hanover wants to rule the world eh? Just ask their King. TMI did and this is what he had to say:
Of course We want to rule the world. It seems like fun.

Others are also jumping on the bandwagon. Mr. Tomsett proved he was Alexander's lapdog by making early proclamations of just how great the coalition would be, if only he'd had the time to read the constitution. When asked about this he said:
I don't need to read the constitution, I trust Alexander!

But not everyone is happy. Not by a long shot. Ascalon quickly denounced the whole affair, and others promptly labeled it a YAMO. King Charles August of Gotzborg was seen leaving the conference muttering under his breath. Fortunately TMI has very sensitive microphones and caught part of his mutterings on tape:
of all the pompous arrogance! Hanover seems to think it always knows best.

Still, overall the proposal is not the overt power grab some have claimed it to be. TMI wonders if this one issue will taint the entire conference, or if the conference can address the other issues facing MicroNationalism. Who knows? MicroNationalists are often single-issue voters and once something starts bothering them it's all downhill from there.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Recwars Give Way to Infrastructure Wars

TMI has sent its crack reporters to the front lines in the latest struggle for MicroWorld domination, national infrastructure. The nations of the MicroWorld have, by long standing tradition, withheld attacking each others technical services, but that has come to an end. No longer content to press their claims in such venues as the Geographical Standards Organization*, national leaders have declared open warfare on Infrastructure!

History will record that Neil Spall fired the first shot in what is sure to devolve into an all-out nerd fest brawl over infrastructure services by asking the seemingly harmless question:
Having trouble accessing all of the [EZ]boards. Is it down?
This simple question, being likened to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, has caused a conflagration of controversy as those responsible for national infrastructure seized on the opportunity to press their claims to superiority. The conflict cannot be contained to simple forums, soon web servers, web hosts, banks, and even individual browsers of choice will be drawn into the conflict as all out war for technical supremacy begins!

TMI attempted to contact Mr. Spall to ask about his reckless query, and received no reply. Several other MicroWorld leaders also refused to comment, even though they had not been asked. With the shroud of secrecy descending upon the gathering forces, their is bound to be a bloodletting like the MicroWorld has never seen. TMI begs the leaders of the MicroWorld to allow cool heads to prevail and not allow this one poor choice of words to plunge the MicroWorld into utter darkness.

Or, baring that, to at least continue to read TMI.


* oh yeah, and that other map system, whatever it's called, national leaders have

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Wednesday Shall be Joke Day!

Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women...

#
10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet
space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask,"Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a
woman....

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

TMI Follows in MacArthur's Footsteps

From the newsreel:

On this day, Gen. Douglas MacArthur and the American 6th Army land on the Lingayen Gulf of Luzon, another step in the capture of the Philippine Islands from the Japanese.

The Japanese controlled the Philippines from May 1942, when the defeat of American forces led to General MacArthur's departure and Gen. Jonathan Wainwright's capture. But in October 1944, more than 100,000 American soldiers landed on Leyte Island to launch one of one of the bloodiest battles of the Pacific war-and herald the beginning of the end for Japan.

Newsreels captured the event as MacArthur waded ashore at Leyte on October 20, returning to the Philippines as he had famously promised he would after the original defeat of American forces there.


Yes my friends, while some had dismissed TMI as a mere flash in the pan, having predicted its failure TMI continues to march on and continues to land headlines around the world!

When the King of Stormark told TMI to "Shove off and die," it was about as close to an all out defeat as faced by American troops in the Philippines as TMI has ever seen, and on the way out the Mystery Reporter retorted "I'll be back". Apparently not all TMI staffers know the difference between MacArthur and Schwarzenegger, but don't get all caught up in it, they are virtually identical twins. None the less, TMI has regrouped over the weekend, and stormed ashore once again to stake a claim in the MN Blogosphere.

Monday, January 8, 2007

FNORD Celebrations!

TMI was there, on the red carpet, as the various delegates and celebrities arrived at the Royal James Theater. Everyone looked dashing of course with a few fashion faux paux to give the paparazzi something to talk about. The press was out of control, and the fans were no better. Each time someone interesting, or even someone boring would get out of a car, or gold encrusted carriage as was insisted upon by His Majesty Charles August I, a cheer would go up.

Of course, those nominated drew the biggest cheers, but all the rest were well received.

TMI reporter was able to speak with Edgar Portela as he walked down the carpet, with the lovely Princess Portela by his side. When we asked him if he thought he could take away the gold he responded with his usually dry and self deprecating style saying only:
Don't be crazy, have you seen the competition?
TMI also caught up with Will Tomsett on the carpet and asked him what he thought of his chances, to which he responded:
Don't you have something better to do? Go make up facts about someone else!
TMI is only too happy to oblige such a request.

Of course, the FNORD is not only about people, but also about technical achievements as well. TMI was sure that, even without being nominated, it would carry the day, and yet the committee choose to give away the award to some upstart unheard of MCS knockoff called the GSO.

We were able to ask some of the judges how, in the face of all the exciting, informative and technologically advanced initiatives TMI has brought to the community they could simply overlook it and give the award away? This is what they had to say:

Thomas Carroll:
Look, I'm tired of your garbage. You were not nominated, and as far as I'm concerned you're not invited or wanted either.
Emir of Raspur:
FNORD is a prestigious institution that has been recognizing those of outstanding character and achievement for a long time. You wouldn't know anything about it.
The other judges could not be reached for comment.

TMI wishes to congratulate all the recipients of the FNORD, and places everyone on notice to beware because the TMI staff fully expects to sweep all the awards in every category for 2007. In fact, it would just be wise to simply not bother nominating anyone else.

Friday, January 5, 2007

MN Independent Celebrates 1 Week!

In the fast paced world of MN specific publications, few stand out like TMI!

TMI considers this one week of service today and is celebrating by, of course, not providing service. No, rather than carry on in the tradition of excellence that TMI has so carefully crafted over its 168 hours of existence it will shirk it's responsibilities to the community and blissfully revel in it's unprecedented success.

TMI has amassed a tremendous following already. All people everywhere turn to TMI when they need news, information, gossip, and pure fantasy about Micronations. No other publication can boast such a dedicated and diverse following. Even dead people read TMI.
I read TMI for the photos
- Hugh Hefner

Actually, there is one piece of news that even TMI cannot ignore today, and that is the most recent KZFO episode. KZFO pretends to be a radio station, but everyone knows it's just a pod cast. Can you imagine the chutzpa of that? That's like a mundane run of the mill blog pretending to be a printed newspaper! TMI would never admit to stooping to such tricks, unless of course, it netted us some readers.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Lovely Upgraded to MesoNation

TMI staff has learned that the nation of Lovely, once the shining poster child for micronations everywhere, has been placed in a wholly new category called mesonation. Mesonations are not big enough or strong enough to be called a macronation, nor are they worthless and insignificant enough to be called a micronation.

For years the Mysterious Organizing Body (MOB), the governing body that decides just exactly which nations may be prefixed with micro or macro designations has struggled to place Lovely in the right category. It clearly has too many citizens to rightly be called a micro, but is not even half as serious as any macro on earth.

In a compromise decision that is bound to irritate everyone the MOB decided to add a new class to supplement the traditional micro/macro dichotomy with the introduction of the meso class. The new class is to act a third group distinct from the others, and not as a scale designation. When asked to explain the spokesman for the MOB had this to say:
It's not big, bigger, biggest. It's more like red, green and blue. No one thinks "hey, blue is bigger than red". They are just different.
This, of course, flies in the face of years of traditional thinking in which the micro/macro prefix was clearly a size indicator. When asked about the impact this would have on the relations between micro and macro nations His Majesty King Danny I said:
This is only going to make things worse. Many macronation desperately want to be recognized by micronations and with this they will only be confused. Macronations are, by their very nature, intensely stupid and bound to screw this up. What do you think is going to happen when the USA finally discovers that it not only has micronational ambassadors to worry about, but now has mesonational ones as well?
Such astute observations are exactly why he is the King.

Of course, the controversy goes far beyond Lovey. This is just the tip of the iceberg as now any nation, can apply for meso status under the misguided belief that meso is better than micro. The feeling was summed up well by a MOB agent who wished to remain anonymous:
This opens Pandora's box! Think about it. By allowing any nation to apply for meso status we could have bug-nations misrepresenting themselves just to be able to claim mesonation status.
The MOB man refused to identify which nations he thought were "bug-nations", but he did follow with "They know who they are."

TMI has also learned that the MOB is considering a fourth designation, the minination, but has refrained from further implementation when faced with such overwhelming negative community feedback. Whatever happens, you can be sure TMI will be at the forefront bringing you the most important facts as fast as possible, perhaps faster.

TMI Starts Movie Review Craze!

TMI is proud to report than it is a trend setter. Having made a simple visual reference to the movie V for Vendetta the community is now abuzz with V trivia and other movie minutia.

Everyone knows the V for Vendetta is likely the best movie about the triumph of a masked man against an oppressive government every made. The sheer realism of the movie puts it in a class all by itself.

Of particular interest is the depth of the interest. Not only are newcomers talking, but long time and well established folks such as Graius and Emperador Augustin.

This new craze of reviewing movies, especially as to how well they size up against other media, leads TMI to the conclusion that some folks just don't have anything important to talk about, or possibly that movies are just fun and TMI shouldn't make to much of it. But as anyone knows, TMI never hesitates to blow things completely out of proportion so long as it serves the narrative of the moment.

When asked about the new craze Graius had this to say:
Your publication has the worst reputation in all of Micronationalism. Leave me alone!
We couldn't agree more!

The astute observer will note that respectable personalities, say the King of Goztborg, never respond to publications such as TMI. (More likely is that TMI has simply been paid off not to publish the dirt it has on those folks.) Whatever the reason the greats of the MN community are oblivious to the buzz going on around them. This level of disconnectedness cannot bode well. How can a nation be lead by people who don't watch movies?!? Or worse, what is the fate of a nation lead by people who watch bad movies?

Everyone knows V for Vendetta is the best movie every filmed, next to The Princess Bride (another masked man makes good movie). To prove the point TMI has sponsored a survey that shows how much everyone loves V for Vendetta. The findings are irrefutable!

TMI Starts Movie Review Craze!

TMI is proud to report than it is a trend setter. Having made a simple visual reference to the movie V for Vendetta the community is now abuzz with V trivia and other movie minutia.

Everyone knows the V for Vendetta is likely the best movie about the triumph of a masked man against an oppressive government every made. The sheer realism of the movie puts it in a class all by itself.

Of particular interest is the depth of the interest. Not only are newcomers talking, but long time and well established folks such as Graius and Emperador Augustin.

This new craze of reviewing movies, especially as to how well they size up against other media, leads TMI to the conclusion that some folks just don't have anything important to talk about, or possibly that movies are just fun and TMI shouldn't make to much of it. But as anyone knows, TMI never hesitates to blow things completely out of proportion so long as it serves the narrative of the moment.

The astute observer will note that respectable personalities, say the King of Goztborg, never respond to publications such as TMI. (More likely is that TMI has simply been paid off not to publish the dirt it has on those folks.) Whatever the reason the greats of the MN community are oblivious to the buzz going on around them. This level of disconnectedness cannot bode well. How can a nation be lead by people who don't watch movies?!? Or worse, what is the fate of a nation lead by people who watch bad movies?

Everyone knows V for Vendetta is the best movie every filmed, next to The Princess Bride (another masked man makes good movie). To prove the point TMI has sponsored a survey that shows how much everyone loves V for Vendetta. The findings are irrefutable!

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Oscland Refugees Flooding Boarders!

TMI wishes it did not have to report on the flight of the Osclanders, but what else can it do? In what must be a desperate attempt to break the bonds that have held them captive the entire nation of Oscland has moved. Not since the time of the native American Indians Trail of Tears has the world witnessed such a migration.

TMI's own Mystery Reporter was early on the scene to report from the front. Here is his eyewitness account:
Everywhere I look I see people streaming across the board as Oscland simply takes up residency in this new place. The looks on the faces tell the whole story. They seem happy, almost giddy, as they survey their new surroundings. One can only imagine what hell they left behind.
TMI's crack research team has discovered that, according to GSO maps, Oscland is bounded by two likely hostile neighbors, Storkmark and Babkha. Both have a terrible history of aggression, unlike the peace loving Osclanders who want nothing more than to live their lives in fields of flowers. All attempts to contact representatives from either nation have failed. Both sides blame the other for this terrible turn of events.

We were, however, able to catch up with the ambassador from New Brittania to ask him what he thought of the situation and this is what he had to say:
Oh bugger off!
Well put sir, well put.

But the ugly face of conquest apparently will not allow that! No, their neighbors are pressing in and victimizing them every chance they get, and this is the awful result. Masses of people fleeing from the fighting as the world turns a blind eye. Where are the international peace keeping forces now when the Osclanders need them most?

Yes, TMI wants so badly to not have to report this story, but with nothing else interesting this will have to do. Of course we've heard the rumors that the announced move is nothing more than a spiffy new web presence, but we think there is a much deeper story. As with all TMI's hard hitting journalism, we do not let the facts stand in the way of a good story!

God bless the Oscland refugees in their quest for security and prosperity.